Concert Files

I Am Your Child

I am Your Child
Words and music by Catherine Newport and Jim Schutters

Isaiah 43:1 says, “But now, this is what the LORD says – he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.’”

God has called each and every one of us individually by name. We are His! We have been redeemed and should never have to live in fear! I hold this so dearly and close to my heart. How wonderful is it to know that I am wanted by God and so loved. But it doesn’t stop there; he also tells us that we absolutely never have to be afraid because God has saved us for our sins.

Psalm 9:9-10 says, “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.” The bible reminds us countless times that God will never abandon us, he is our safe place in times of trouble, and therefore there is absolutely no reason to worry, all we have to do is trust in Him. He will always protect us. 

But why is this so hard for me to believe?

Please don’t misunderstand me. I love the Lord with all of my heart and I know he loves me more than my own comprehension, more than any single person on this earth. I also know that he has saved me from my sins, and he will never leave me. He walks right with me through all my troubles; He is my fierce protector! 

I know these things now but so easily forget them when I am badly hurting. I so easily forget them when I am stuck in the trenches, going through the tough times. When I am at my worst, I am so guilty of trying to walk alone, which is exactly what “I am Your Child” is about.

The lyrics tell the story of my feelings during a rough time in my life. I was undergoing genetic testing to see if I carried a genetic mutation called lynch syndrome which is associated with much higher chances of developing several types of cancer. As a child, I watched my grandma suffer with some of these cancers.  

The genetic counselor explained lynch syndrome in depth and the preventative measures involved. I didn’t mind most of the preventative measures. I only struggled with the ovarian prevention which was a total hysterectomy at age 35. I could literally feel my heart sink. This was the one cancer in my family that I absolute feared the most.

I grew up with a nurse for a mom, and a very knowledgeable one at that! The only problem with a medical background is that you can know too much. I knew what was involved with this procedure and the aftermath. A total hysterectomy changes your body and hormones, and the genetic counselor crushed my tiny shred of hope of hormone replacement.

I had to be sure I was done having kids or be sure to get busy soon considering I was pushing 30. And then there was the waiting. It takes around two weeks to get the bloodwork results back.  

In those two weeks I sunk into a depression. All I could think about was how this isn’t what I wanted or planned. I would just cry myself to sleep at night thinking about all the terrible possibilities. I was devastated at the thought of my boys growing up without their mommy. I couldn’t help but think about how my grandma suffered with some of these cancers and how terrifying it was to even think about going through this. 

I had so many thoughts running through my head. I never felt so alone or had been so lost in my life. During those two weeks I couldn’t find God, no matter how hard I looked. I felt like God had abandoned me, although I was the one who had walked away. And I do that so often! When I am at my worst, when I am struggling the most, I turn away from God and choose to walk this path alone, which is exactly opposite of God’s promise.

He will never forsake me, as long as I trust him! And no matter how many times I am reminded that God won’t leave me, I still get stuck in this perpetual cycle. But how blessed am I that this cycle ends with finding God! 

It was as if I was running blindly through a fog, frantically searching for something that was there along.  And eventually, I did find God. He made his presence known, as if he was wrapping his loving arms around me. I wrote the lyrics to “I am Your Child” as a reminder. I can read these lyrics and remember that he was and is always here, and share them so no one feels alone.

This experience has taught me that the Lord is my refuge and stronghold at all times. He very much loved me and protected me and always will. I am his child and always will be. We are all God’s children, summoned by name; we are His! He loves us, saves us, frees us, and redeems us.

Peace

Written by Jim Schutters.

After putting the final touches on “The Trinity” in September of 2017, I felt drawn to create a song in 6/8 time (my fellow band members chuckle at this admission). Sitting at the piano one afternoon, a theme and melody in 6/8 time began to form. I felt the song, both musically and lyrically, had potential, so I was determined to complete it and get it out of my head. The song came together over an intense 3 week period last Fall. Lyrics were conjured up and polished during quiet mornings on my front porch, long bike rides on country roads and many sleepless nights. Vocal parts were fine tuned sitting at the piano after putting my boys to bed where the intention of just 10 minutes often turned into 2 hours. You are Peace was inspired not only by my personal journey to find peace in life but also by the tragic events experienced by our congregation in the Summer of 2017 as well as the senseless violence plaguing our country, specifically at the time, the Las Vegas mass shooting. 

The song concludes with “I’ve found peace”  - A Peace found in the Lord, an everlasting peace not a peace in the temporary moments, people or things of this world. I’ve realized that being at peace is a process, a journey of discovery often without a clear path and that this “found “ peace is sometimes hard to hold onto. I hope that this song serves to bring us back to the right path, reminding us where our true peace is found.